Understand to be Understood

In life it’s not so much the answers that trip us up, it is understanding the question.  For example for most people 1 + 1 = is an easy question, and the most likely answer you would receive is 2.  Most would say this is a no brainer.  However supposed the question looked more like this; what happens if I put a 1 next to another 1, what will I have in the end.  Then, with some thought the person may answer “two 1’s placed next to each other would produce the number 11.  Would the person asking the question then be correct in restating “oh so 1+1 is equal to 11!  With horror, the provider of the answer would probably try to correct them immediately and explain that having two 1’s together is different than adding a 1 and another 1. 

Something so simple can get so complicated if both individuals are not clear about what is really being asked?  So it is with the simplest of communications between individuals.  Before we are quick to provide an answer, let’s be sure we understand the question.  Learning the tools of asking for clarification, restating the question, and checking for meaning can make all the difference in a communication leading to a misunderstanding or understanding. The popular quote by Steven Covey “Seek first to understand, then to be understood”, which is his 5th habit in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, applies here. Or as can be found in James 1:19 “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…”